Titanic Serenade
by spuffyfanatic1975
Summary: Series of short songfics with songs matching the thoughts of Jack, Rose, etc inbetween scenes on Titanic and beyond. Some stories may be Jack Lives. Flames will be deleted.
1. Default Chapter

She's So High

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(A/N: This Story takes place between the 1st Class Dinner and Steerage partyJ Jack's Thoughts on Rose and his expectations from her.)

He had no idea what he was doing. That was rather obvious from the way his hand trembled as he gripped the banister of the grand staircase. He had no idea of what he was thinking of as he pressed the note into Rose's hand just as he left the table. He knew that after tonight, he would probably never see her again. They were from two different worlds. She was a princess and he…a poor pauper, trying to make the best out of what he had. He should have just let it go. Leave her to her destiny and continue on with his. But something wouldn't allow him to do that. Something inside him ranted and raged against the scheme of things that he had once been so willing to accept. He didn't care that he was third class…all he knew was that he had to see her again. Even though he knew that nothing could come out of his pursuit of her. 

__

She's blood, flesh and bone   
No tucks or silicone   
She's touch, smell, sight, taste and sound 

Even thought She was one of the first class types that had seemed so plastic and fake, he had sensed something real about her. They had connected some how, on some deep spiritual level. He couldn't let that go. Even though, he know nothing could ever happen. She belonged to another, and there was nothing he could do about it.  
_  
But somehow I can't believe   
That anything should happen   
I know where I belong   
And nothing's gonna happen   
Yeah, yeah   
_  
_'Cause she's so high...   
High above me, she's so lovely   
She's so high...   
Like Cleopatra, Joan of Arc, or Aphrodite   
She's so high...   
High above me _  


The hope of a romantic relationship was out of the question he could be her friend. Show her that life wasn't all galas and polo matches. No, he couldn't be her lover, but he could be something even better. Something those high society types could never understand. He could set the firiery spirit he had glimpsed that day on the deck free and give her the time of her life. For one night, he could give her that freedom that she seemed to crave so desperately. A freedom that seemed to be forbidden in her first class world.

  
_First class and fancy free   
She's high society   
She's got the best of everything   
  
What could a guy like me   
Ever really offer?   
She's perfect as she can be   
Why should I even bother?   
_  
He may not the makings of a millionaire, but he could still show her what freedom and happiness really was. For just one night, he could be the one to hold her in his arms and fly above all ranks and class lines. For one night, they could just be Jack and Rose. Two people who just want to enjoy life to the fullest. That was one thing he could give her and he would. He'll take her hand and lead her away from her stuffy first class life and show her how the other half lived. 

__

'Cause she's so high...   
High above me, she's so lovely   
She's so high...   
Like Cleopatra, Joan of Arc, or Aphrodite   
She's so high...   
High above me 

Soft footfalls behind him is what made him turn around and freeze in shock. He hadn't thought she'd come, but she did. She looked a bit nervous, a bit shy. But a steely determination laid behind all the misgivings her green eyes revealed. Like all the great beautiful women before her, Rose Dewitt Bukater was taking a risk, a risk that he was going to make sure that she would never regret. Yes, he knew romance was impossible., but the chance of something deeper was there and that was enough for him. _  
_  
  
_She comes to speak to me   
I freeze immediately   
'Cause what she says sounds so unreal   
  
But somehow I can't believe   
That anything should happen   
I know where I belong   
And nothing's gonna happen   
Yeah, yeah   
Yeah, yeah _

Jack Smiled, happy and confident. She was so beautiful, so unattainable…so there. She may be high above him on some levels, but right now nothing stood in their way. Nothing but friendship may come from this, but it would be a friendship that would last a lifetime. 

"Are you ready to go to a real party?" Jack asked, his hands stuffed in his pocket, hiding his nervousness.

Rose just smiled and nodded. She knew that her status was above his, but she didn't care. She wanted to spend more time with Jack, and that was what she was going to do. Social barriers be damned. She knew that nothing could happen with Jack, but for one night, she was going to forget about first class life and pretend that she was just another girl, on the arm of one of the handsomest men on the ship. Who cares if he was third class, because deep inside, so was she. No matter what her mother and Cal and to say about it. She wasn't any higher then Jack on the spiritual level and tonight, she was going to prove. Taking his hand, they continue up the staircase and down to the third class general room, where everyone wondered just how Jack Dawson got such a high class girl to come with him. In their eyes, Rose was high above them all, but to Jack and Rose, she wasn't. She was just another girl, enjoying what Jack had called, a real party.

  
  
_'Cause she's so high...   
High above me, she's so lovely   
She's so high...   
Like Cleopatra, Joan of Arc, or Aphrodite   
She's so high...   
High above me   
_  


**She's So High-Tal Bachman  
**

The End


	2. Numb

****

Numb

By Britta 

**__**

(Author's Note: HiJ This is the second chapter to Titanic Serenade written by Britta in GermanyJ She sends apologies for any misspellings or grammar mistakes, but as far as I can see the story is perfectJ Enjoy)

With soft movements the black, smooth waves were splashing against the mighty hull of the Titanic. Darkness engulfed the ship, illuminated only by the glistening lights in the windows and the dim lamps on deck. 

All of a sudden, she appeared and the calm night was penetrated by her heavy sobs, her whimpering sounds and rapid footsteps. She was running along the boat deck, making her way towards the stern. Her elegant black and red dress and her fiery long curls were flying behind her and she reached up to wipe the tears away from her sticky face.

Rose DeWitt Bukater was devastated. Images of the previous day, the previous weeks, her previous life flashed through her throbbing mind, causing just more and more tears to come to her eyes. 

Everything had been so wonderful. A carefree existence in the DeWitt Bukater mansion, lighthearted conversations with her mother, the pleasant closeness to her father.

And then it had come. The turn that would mean the beginning of the end. Mr. DeWitt Bukater had passed away, causing Rose's complete world to tumble down. Hearing her mother's cries for weeks and feeling her own soul going numb by her sorrow, she had soon found herself in another insufferable life. It had turned out that her father had left the family a legacy of debts to deal with and a slowly decreasing status in society. It didn't matter much to Rose, but the disillusionment had followed as soon as the first shock had passed by. The tears had dried and the pressure on Rose had grown. She, the only DeWitt Bukater offspring, had been the one to carry the family's hope for a continuing wealthy existence in her. Her mother had demanded that Rose would be behaving even more appropriately, like a true, striking high society lady whilst her main aim had become pretty obvious: attracting a dignified and prosperous young man for her daughter to marry and therefore saving the family's good name and improve their financial situation. 

And then he had come. Mister Caledon Hockley had stepped into Rose's life and embodied the exact opposite of everything Rose had hoped for in her future life. The situation had gotten so much out of hand that now, at the age of just 17, Rose saw nothing but blackness ahead of her.

I'm tired of being what you want me to be

Feeling so faithless

Lost under the surface

I don't know what you're expecting of me

Put under the pressure

Of walking in your shoes

She was so tired of all this. She was tired of the escalating falseness in her life, of being forced to behave in ways she didn't want to just to please others, just to please Cal who wouldn't stop disparaging her. And the worst of it all was that she had no way out.

Caught in the undertow 

Just caught in the undertow

Rose's desolation wasn't obvious in public, but it appeared through details in treatment, gestures and especially her fiancé's way to deal with her. Images of Cal emerged in her mind, from the time they had first met till the day they had boarded the Titanic. She heard him telling her to change her clothes since she couldn't "wear black on sailing day, sweet pea". She heard him calling her that awful nickname. Over and over again. She saw him frowning at her newly brought European drawings with disapproval, pictures which showed Rose's great passion in art. A passion he couldn't share at all. 

Whatever she was saying or doing, Cal would say something against it. Sometimes Rose thought he wasn't in the least interested in her since he never ever showed any interest in her passions or in what she was saying. It seemed as if her only duty was to be present.

Every step that I take 

Is another mistake to you

Rose sobbed once more as she ran up the stairs to the stern deck, opening the small gate and heading along the vast deck space. Tears made her vision blurry, nevertheless she could make out the attracting stern railing which was in sight now. Lifting her dress slightly in order not to stumble, she focused her gaze on what was laying ahead. 

What was the use of all this? Rose had been asking herself this very question over and over again without getting any reasonable answer. There was no use and she was drained. Her power was worn out, her emotional strength was fading. And she didn't see any way to rebel against her miserable fate. She was trapped and she knew it. 

__

Caught in the undertow 

Just caught in the undertow

A chilly breeze made her shiver and she lifted her hand to wipe away her tears once more. Gasping for air, she somehow ended up leaning against the bottom of a flagpole to regain some physical strength. Breathlessly and trembling, Rose took a few steps forward until she could grasp the cold railing with her hands. One last time, she looked back to be sure that nobody was watching her. She didn't want anyone to keep her from doing what she had to do. What she had to do? What she wanted to do? What was she even thinking? Staring down at the black hole beneath her, the gap that used to be the wonderfully sparkling Atlantic Ocean by daylight, she was suddenly afraid of herself. She was afraid of the unfeeling creature that had become of her. She did want to live, she truly did, but considering what was expecting her, the bare thought of her going through this existence till her death was too absurd and simply too terrifying. The cold air made her shiver once more.

__

I've

Become so numb

I can't feel you there

I become so tired

So much more aware

Rose was caught between her immense urge to live and her devastating, hopeless future perspective. It was all so unfair. Why did it have to end like this? Did she really have to die without having ever experienced the meaning of life, of love, of true happiness? 

Rose's fiery spirit was striving for something. Just something else, something different from all the emptiness and pain she was constantly feeling. She didn't even know what it was, but she knew one thing for sure: she would never ever have the chance to achieve it. 

I'm becoming this

All I want to do

Is be more like me

And be less like you

Swallowing hard and grasping the cold railing even more tightly, Rose's mind went back to the man who was the decisive factor for her desperate situation. It wasn't just her whole lifestyle that made her suffocate, it was that man who represented everything she despised about her fellow society members. She was remembering the lunch scene on that very day. Cal, her mother and Rose had assembled in the palm court restaurant, having their meal in company of Bruce Ismay, the White Star Line director, Thomas Andrews, the shipbuilder, and Molly Brown, a pleasant High Society Lady who seemed to be different from the others.

It had once again started with small gestures and controlling actions. Cal stubbing out Rose's cigarette, Cal ordering disgusting lamb for her, Cal calling her that appalling nickname.

Mr. Ismay had been going into raptures about the impressive size of the Titanic and Rose had silently shaken her head at that typically male attitude. After all, she had made some irritating remark on the subject and excused herself, going out onto the promenade deck to escape Cal´s angry eyes which bore into her back. 

Short time later, he had followed her, demanding to know what had gotten into her. He had been annoyed, but he had also been afraid, that was for sure. This hadn't been the first time Rose had acted like that, acted "improperly", and Cal didn't quite know how to keep her from being the rebel she was deep inside. She was too stubborn sometimes and Rose couldn't stop behaving like that. As long as she at least tried to be herself, she still felt somehow like an emotionally alive human being.

__

Can't you see that you're smothering me

Holding too tightly

Afraid to lose control

'Cause everything that you thought I would be

Has fallen apart right in front of you

The odd thing was that Rose actually believed that Cal loved her. He did love her, in the only way he knew. But his kind of affection was something she just couldn't get used to. She could pretend to be satisfied, going on with her life and being the well brought up girl she should be. But she knew she would turn into a person she had always struggled not to be. 

She had no choice.

Taking another deep breath, Rose lifted her dress slightly and stepped onto the bottom rung of the railing. She was shivering heavily, partly because of the freezing air, partly because of the prospect of what she was doing. 

__

Caught in the undertow 

Just caught in the undertow

Climbing over the top rung was difficult, her long dress making every movement hard. Rose managed to get on the other side, her hands clinging to the railing and her feet getting a secure hold. She was doing the right thing, she kept telling herself, there was no other way out. Death was better than living in that spirit altering world.

__

Every step that I take 

Is another mistake to you

The cool wind had dried her tears, leaving tracks on her pale cheeks. Hardly breathing, Rose stared into the frightening darkness below. She even nearly didn't feel the cold anymore. For the first time since she had made her desperate decision to finish off, she thought that she could actually do it. That she could simply jump and everything would be over.

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Caught in the undertow 

Just caught in the undertow

It seemed to be so easy, now that she was actually hanging over the hole which would bring her deliverance. She would just let go and her pain would be over. It was too much to bear. The longer she was standing there, holding on to the railing and being in this world, the more intense became her desire for salvation. 

__

And every second I waste

Is more than I can take

Again, Rose's mind flashed back. Again, she was wondering how she had ended up hanging at the back of a ship, the ship that was said to be "the ship of dreams", carrying the hopes and wishes of so many people. The absurdity of Rose's situation got clear to her at that very moment. Wasn't she supposed to be one of them? Cheery, enthusiastic, optimistic about what was laying ahead? 

It was unfair. What had she done wrong, why was she the one who had to be burdened with this unbearable fate? Everything she felt was humiliation, everything she saw was herself, being torn into a million pieces, dying inside. She felt anger, pure and plain anger.

__

I've

Become so numb

I can't feel you there

I become so tired

So much more aware

I'm becoming this

All I want to do

Is be more like me

And be less like you

Rose had often tried to put herself into his mind. For just one brief moment she wanted to know what was going on inside of his mentality, what made him be the person he was. 

Cal was 30 years old, son of Pittsburgh steel tycoon Nathan Hockley and incredibly rich. He was handsome, Rose had to admit, but his looks didn't seem to be in any connection with his soul. She sensed that there was some turmoil going on inside of that man. Rose had known him for quite some time now, but she had never learnt anything important from his past. But she did know something about Cal´s relationship to his father. One day, Cal would inherit the Hockley's fortune and of course he had to have a proper wife by then. In this regard, the old Hockley's attitude didn't differ from Rose's mother's. A marriage should be expedient to someone's purposes, nothing more and nothing less. Possibly Cal was eager to prove something, prove that he really deserved his father's respect by marrying Rose and therefore having a suitable wife to share the Hockley wealth with. Maybe deep inside he was just a desperate creature, struggling to maintain his high position. Nevertheless, Rose couldn't and didn't want to accept him as her future perspective. Never ever.

__

And I know

I may end up failing too

But I know

You were just like me

With someone disappointed in you

The dim stern lights illuminated Rose's pale face, her red curls blowing in the wind, her hands clinging to the cold railing as she was staring at the black sea, slightly swaying from side to side. She could do it and she would do it. Just let go and be free. She wouldn't even feel anything. She would be dead instantly.

__

I've

Become so numb

I can't feel you there

I become so tired

So much more aware

No, she couldn't do it. She didn't want to. She wanted to be alive, for God's sake, she wanted to live her life to the fullest! In her way, the way she wanted without anyone dictating anything to her. But that wasn't achievable.

__

I'm becoming this

All I want to do

Is be more like me

And be less like you

Let go, Rose, she told herself, let go and stop torturing yourself. God, what had become of her?

__

I've

Become so numb

She didn't feel anything at that moment. She didn't feel the freezing wind, she didn't feel the burning pain inside her head and she didn't feel her frozen soul. She wanted to scream, but all that was coming out of her throat were soft whimpering sounds filling the unbearable silence around her.

__

I can't feel you there

I'm tired of being what you want me to be

Rose couldn't believe it. She was willing to throw her life away, just like that, by jumping off the back of a ship. What a pathetic way to escape. But what a pathetic way to live was forced upon her. What a pathetic perspective. 

__

I've

Become so numb

I can't feel you there

She was utterly worn out. Her spirit was fading away and there was nothing she could do. She wanted to let go, but her trembling hands remained attached to the railing. She didn't know what to do. 

__

I'm tired of being what you want me to be

Let go, Rose, let go, for God's sake. You can't change it, you are entirely hopeless. There's no choice.

Her breath became shallow, her sobs died and her eyes closed. 

Just as she was about to end it all and to surrender to the callous voice within, the agonizing silence was broken by the warmest, most caring and most wonderful voice Rose had ever heard. 

"Don't do it."

~The End~

Song: Linkin Park - Numb


	3. whisper

Whisper

by Britta

The afternoon of April 14th was magnificently sunny and Thomas Andrews, the shipbuilder himself, was guiding Rose, her fiancé Cal and her mother Ruth through several part of the Titanic, revealing the most interesting information. The tour had been appealing so far yet unsettling and worrying. Even though Rose seemed to be the only one who was feeling that way.

The concern had started at the bridge section. Captain Smith had been presenting facts and details and giving explanations when some crew member had handed him an ice warning, "another ice warning" as the young man had uttered and he had sounded as if this was the most normal thing in the world. The others hadn't even bothered to show the slightest worried reaction, obviously their firm confidence in Titanic which was based on the public statement that the ship was unsinkable calmed them. Rose, however, had never supported this belief. The tense expression on her face must have been very evident since the Captain had given her a reassuring smile. "Oh, not to worry," he had said. "It's quite normal for this time of year. Quite normal? Rose's rational sense had told her something different. Maybe icebergs were quite normal for this time of the year, but that didn't lessen the potential danger, did it?

Now as they were walking along the boat deck Rose reacted to Mr. Andrews´ mention of the boat capacity. There weren't enough seats for everyone aboard, that was for sure. He assured her though that Titanic was safe enough, but Rose's anxious feeling didn't subside. Mr. Andrews was walking ahead of her and she stayed some steps behind, still occupied with her thoughts. Once again the familiar feeling of being all alone in the world overcame her. Mr. Andrews was a nice man, but unfortunately this man, whom Rose liked to picture as a father figure, didn't belong to her life. Considering her folks, the well-known dispirited sentiment arose inside. Cal didn't even notice her concern, as he didn't notice anything about her, except for her looks. It seemed as if nothing in the world could make him step out the glamorous, carefree bubble he was living in.

Jack was so utterly different. Jack…Rose's heart was beating faster at the thought of him. Images of the previous night filled her mind, the memories of him giving her a hand kiss, of him dragging her onto the dance floor, holding her tightly, of him listening to her and understanding her and making her experience things she would never have thought possible. Now here she was, back where she was meant to be, feeling as if nothing had happened. Rose knew she couldn't cling to something that was so much out of reach, still she didn't want to let go of the man who had made her forget her misery at least for one night.

Catch me as I fall

Say you're here and it's all over now

Speaking to the atmosphere

No one's here and I fall into myself

With a heavy sigh Rose was walking a few steps behind Mr. Andrews who was leading them towards the stern, but just as she was about to rejoin her group, she felt someone gripping her arm from the back and she turned around with a gasp. Jack was standing in front of her, motioning to her to be silent and to follow him. His presence filled her with warmth, a feeling which seized her every time he was around, yet she was shocked and scared. Rose couldn't believe that he was actually there, grasping her hand and leading her towards a door nearby. She glanced back and to her relief she saw that nobody had noticed anything. Jack held open the door and Rose entered the hall. It was the gymnasium, the room they had visited just a few minutes before. Jack followed her and closed the door, stepping up to Rose who was staring at him with a mixture of joy, shock and sadness. Looking at her expectantly, he took off his elegant hat. For a second Rose wondered where he had gotten the graceful clothes from, the long, black coat he was wearing definitely looked like first class. But this didn't matter at this very moment. This just wasn't right, they shouldn't be here, all alone. Rose knew that and she fought the part of her which wanted Jack to be here.

"Jack," she began, nervously fiddling with her fingers. "This is impossible. I can't see you."

This truth drives me

Into madness

"I need to talk to you," Jack urged, gently grabbing her arm as she was trying to walk back to the door. Rose leaned against the frosted glass window, looking up at him sadly. How could she not want to talk to him, how could she not want him to be around, watching her with his wonderful eyes, giving her the feeling that he truly cared? He was so attracting and he made her realize that there was something beyond her desolation. Or someone?

I know I can stop the pain

If I will it all away

If I will it all away

But at the same time, Rose was just scared. What was she even thinking? They had to stop whatever there was developing between them, once and for all. Couldn't he understand that she not even ought to be in the same room with him, let along being all alone with him? He had saved her life and she would be forever thankful, but he standing so close to her now, making her heart beat faster once again, this was just inappropriate.

"No, Jack, no", she uttered desperately, trying to avoid his penetrating gaze. Closing her eyes briefly, she finally managed to lift her head and look deeply into his eyes.

"Jack, I'm engaged. I'm marrying Cal. I love Cal." She hoped her voice sounded convincing to him. To herself it didn't. Speaking the words out loud made it all so horribly final. She was engaged. She would marry some filthy rich man whom she didn't even really know. But on the other hand, what did she know about Jack?

Her last statement made her shudder slightly, Rose didn't quite believe what she had said. She had never imagined she would even think those words ever in her life. She didn't love him, but that didn't matter. It wasn't about love.

Jack didn't believe a word of what she was saying. Sighing slightly, he tried to suppress an amused smile. Did she truly think he would believe her desperate lies just to make him turn around and leave forever? He had asked her once if she loved "him", she had never answered the question, in fact, she had tried her utmost to prevent the conversation.

This here wasn't the Rose he knew. This was a frightened little girl, trapped in the wrong world. Jack could see people and he could tell that Rose was very much struggling to sound credible, yet he knew she was lying, lying straight into his face at this very moment. He had known her for merely three days, but he had seen enough of her to realize that her frantic attempt to lie was nothing but a poor effort to do what she thought was right to do. Jack, however, knew that she was far from doing the right thing.

Don't turn away

Don't give in to the pain

Don't try to hide

Though they're screaming your name

Taking a deep breath, he smiled slightly at her.

"Rose, you're no picnic," he began, his voice holding the most sincere tone Rose had ever heard.

"You're a spoiled little brat even. But under that you're the most amazingly astounding, wonderful girl…woman that I've ever known and…."

Jack was struggling with his words, somehow he was wondering if he wasn't maybe being too straightforward. He was pouring his heart out to her, just like she had poured hers out to him, making her realize what he thought of her, what his true feelings for her were. The bewildered, touched and scared expression on Rose's face made him stop for a moment. She was trying to get away from him, his honesty was obviously too overwhelming for her. Living in her fake world, she wasn't used to truthfulness.

"Jack, I…" Rose was shaking her head at him and Jack had to grasp her arm in order to make her stay.

"No, wait," he urged, keeping her in place and she sighed, looking up at him. Jack let go of her, nervously running a hand through his hair.

Rose, Rose…can't you see how wonderful you are? Can't you see who you truly are deep inside?

Don't close your eyes

God knows what lies behind them

Don't turn out the light

Never sleep never die

He had witnessed her true self. And his heart was breaking at the thought of her imminent decline, the decline only she could prevent if only she was aware of it.

He had to reveal the truth to her, making her realize the peril she was in, making her see what she was apparently not able or not willing to see.

"Let me try to get this out. You're ama...," his voice trailed off. Not really knowing if he should let her know of his feelings for her, he was trying to think of another way. He was eager to make her see that he truly cared about her.

"I'm not an idiot," he continued. "I know how the world works. I got ten bucks in my pocket and I have nothing to offer you and I know that. I understand…."

Heaving a sigh, Jack swallowed hard as he was struggling to put his plea into words. This was so maddening. He was an honest person from the bottom of his heart and at this moment he couldn't simply confess his affection for this amazing woman standing right in front of him. Just the thought of Rose being with a low class roamer like him was beyond his imagination, but at least he had to push her and give her the courage to save herself.

"But I'm too involved now. You jump, I jump, remember? I can't turn away without knowing you'll be alright."

Rose, you are unbelievable, I'm completely under your spell. You don't have to feel the same way about me, but I beseech you, save yourself before it's too late! I can help you, if you let me, just do the right thing, Rose. Do the right thing.

"That's all that I want," he finished, lowering his voice. In reality, that wasn't ALL he wanted, but he couldn't presume to expect more from Rose. Her happiness meant everything to him and he refused to let her spirit be crumbled.

For a moment, Rose wasn't able to do anything but staring up at the man who was standing right in front of her. Jack's frankness utterly overwhelmed her and she was wondering what she might have done to deserve anyone's concern, to deserve that someone like Jack was worried about her. You jump, I jump.

When she had been hanging off the back of Titanic, Rose had silently made up her mind. She had chosen to give in to her fate, no matter what. Being born into a society like this required certain duties, so what choices did she have? Rebelling against her destiny? What a childish illusion.

I'm frightened by what I see

But somehow I know that there's much more to come

And then Jack had stepped into her life and set her in awe. Whatever there was in store for her in her miserable future, Rose would be forever grateful for having met him. He had shown her that there was something beyond all her misery, leaving her in complete amazement and admiration, and now that she was standing here, listening to his indirect confession of his affection for her, she was still not able to believe that there was someone in this world who truly cared for her. She felt he wasn't just showing his sympathy, she felt he actually, actually cared.

She was hardly breathing and a sudden urge to embrace him was quickly replaced by the image of her soon-to-be-husband. Caledon Hockley, sitting opposite to her at the table, glaring her silently and then exploding in a violent outburst. Rose was involuntarily shivering at the memory and she swallowed nervously.

__

Immobilized by my fear

And soon to be blinded by tears

Jack, don't do this. It's just hopeless, I don't have a choice. You are the most amazing person I've ever known, but what are you expecting from me? What are you even saying? You can't turn away without knowing I'll be alright? How can I ever be alright considering my life? But tell me, what can I do?

I can stop the pain

If I will it all away

If I will it all away

However, Jack was right. How could he know her so well after only three days? Rose was spoilt, nevertheless there was another side, her true side containing a wild, natural sprit which Jack had made come to the surface. The longer she was reconsidering Jack's words, the longer she was thinking about the wonderful time they had spent together the more desperate she became. As much as she wanted to, she couldn't just be standing here, sensing Jack's affection and concern.

"Well, I'm fine," she uttered, her voice almost cracking. Taking a deep breath, she made every effort to sound persuasive.

"I'll be fine. Really."

Jack's gaze on her nearly made Rose regret her words. He was looking completely unaffected and skeptical, her attempt to give him assurance had failed. She was lying to him again. This knowledge filled him with frustration, but above all it made him just want to take her hand and run away with her, run away from everything what caused Rose's weakness, her soreness and her desolation.

__

Don't turn away

Don't give in to the pain

Don't try to hide

Though they're screaming your name

Jack had to take her away from the source of her sorrow, otherwise she wouldn't survive much longer.

"Really?" he asked, not even expecting a truthful answer. Rose was just too scared. He could tell that she was struggling to fight back the tears from her eyes what made his heart ache even more. God, she was so desperate.

"I don't think so."

Don't close your eyes

God knows what lies behind them

Don't turn out the light

Never sleep never die

"They've got you trapped, Rose," he exclaimed suddenly, penetratingly emphasizing every single word. Rose's facial expression revealed her most inner commotion. Making every effort to remain composed, she struggled to suppress her tears which were threatening to run down her cheeks now more than ever before. Jack was so right and she knew it. Hearing the harsh truth being spoken out loudly made her want to break down completely for that seemed to be her only option. Breaking down or somehow trying to adjust and adapt to her situation. Either way, her life and her very spirit would expire.

"And you're gonna to die if you don't break free, maybe not right away because you're strong, but…," Jack continued vehemently, the words coming out in a rush. Jack was very well aware of the merciless effect of his forthrightness, but he felt this was the only way to appeal to her reason.

Lowering his voice, he leaned slightly forward, placing a trembling hand on her cheek.

"…Sooner or later that fire that I love about you, Rose, that fire is gonna burn out."

If Rose hadn't exactly known how to conceal her emotions due to her upbringing, she would have certainly given in to the impulse to burst into tears. Swallowing hard, she stifled a sob, nevertheless she felt that there were some tears in her eyes and she didn't really bother to hide them. Jack was standing in front of her, urgently begging her to abandon her complete previous existence. It was so unbelievable. There was this man, coming out of nowhere into her life, who was able to distinguish her very soul with literally one glance and who, like no one else in the world, knew what she was missing and what she needed. Desperately fighting against her weeping, Rose silently admitted that Jack was right. He was so right with everything he was saying that the truth felt like a slap in the face.

Fallen angels at my feet

Whispered voices at my ear

Death before my eyes

Lying next to me I fear

He was begging her to leave her whole world, her surroundings, her life background. Did he actually believe that she had that much strength? Did he have so much faith in her, did he really believe in her? Rose was so utterly overwhelmed, not only by his plea, but also by the fact that there was someone on earth who truly, truly cared about her. And, beyond all doubt, she did care about him. The previous three days had seemed like some kind of magnificent dream to her, and Jack…Jack was like everything she had ever wished for. And here he was at this very moment, gazing at her, his rough yet gentle hand on her cheek, beseeching her to break free and run off. For what? For something completely unknown. For something she couldn't assess. Break free and run off. For what? For who? For herself. And with the person who made her feel like a human being.

All of a sudden, Rose's vision became blurry as images of the world she was living in flashed through her mind like a warning sign of God. Images of shallow, depraved, rotten Caledon Hockley who made her inner void increase with every word he said, every gesture he showed. Images of her mother, tying her corset, forcing her into a moral impasse.

She beckons me

Shall I give in

Upon my end shall I begin

Forsaking all I've fallen for

I rise to meet the end

Rose was struggling to talk herself into believing that Jack was nothing but a nice and welcome change, even though she knew that was as far away from the truth as it could be. He wasn't only her rescuer, he was so much more than that. But her socialization told her something different.

And once and for all, Rose knew her fate was sealed. Who did she think she was? How could she even take another life into consideration, a life that didn't contain luxury, opulence or financial welfare? 17 High Society years had shaped her and she had to fulfill her duties, doing what she was meant to do and being where she was meant to be.

Her eyes traveling up and down Jack's form, she realized the elegant coat again and her conclusion hit her with an intense pang. Wherever he had gotten it from, there was no doubt that he wouldn't even be here without it. That was one of the deplorable traits of her civilization. Judging people by their outward appearance.

How entirely different their worlds were. How entirely impossible for her to cross the threshold to his one, forever.

"It's not up to you to save me, Jack," she heard herself say, the words being painful to get out. She could hardly look up into his eyes, let alone take a breath. He was watching her seriously, his own breath becoming shallow.

"You're right," he replied and his voice was barely louder than a whisper.

"Only you can do that."

He leaned forward, closer to her. He could see she was fighting back her tears, his heart breaking at the sight.

Rose; Rose…don't cry. I know you are desperate and I know you are afraid, but there's no need to be afraid. I'm right here, you're not alone. You can go anywhere you choose to go. Just don't let them destroy you.

Rose began to tremble. Feeling Jack's hand resting on her, his thumb tenderly caressing her cheek, his warm breath on her face and his eyes wandering from her eyes to her lips and back was simply too overwhelming. She could tell he would kiss her and she wouldn't stop him, if she didn't stay away from him now. Putting her shaking hand on his one, she finally made him let go of her.

It was useless. It was hopeless. He was asking too much. Rose had to leave him, forever. She had to stop clinging to her childish, silly wishes.

"I'm going back," she breathed, still panting. "Leave me alone."

__

Don't turn away

Don't give in to the pain

Don't try to hide

Though they're screaming your name

She managed to tear herself off his endearing presence, turning towards the door.

I'm so sorry, Jack. But I can't do this. Farewell. Farewell.

She was sobbing as she opened the door and closed it behind her. And then she was gone. Just like that.

__

Don't close your eyes

God knows what lies behind them

Don't turn out the light

Never sleep never die

Heaving a sigh, Jack leaned his forehead against the window, agonizingly watching her disappearing form through the frosted glass. He had felt obliged to help her out, desperate to make her see that there was a way out of her misery that did not imply jumping off the back of a ship. But he had failed.

__

Don't turn away

Don't give in to the pain

Don't try to hide

Though they're screaming your name

Now she was returning her world, her small-minded society, until she would wilt and die. She had made her decision, even though Jack had been able see her inner struggle. Her frantic fight based on her uncertainty and her fear.

Don't close your eyes

God knows what lies behind them

Don't turn out the light

Never sleep never die

All the time Jack had refused to give up on her since he knew that underneath her masquerade of a perfectly composed, reserved First Class woman she was yearning for something else. And he was the one who could give it to her.

Don't turn away

Don't give in to the pain

Don't try to hide

Though they're screaming your name

Please Rose, whatever there is in store for you, whatever they're doing to you, just keep yourself alive. Don't let them ruin your spirit, don't let them devastate your dignity.

Don't close your eyes

God knows what lies behind them

Don't turn out the light

Never sleep never die

Save yourself from the imminent decline.

Servatis a pereculum

Servatis a maleficum

The End

Song: Evanescence - Whisper


End file.
